Anthony Andro says that Rangers fandom is a vale of tears the only escape from which is death.
T.R. Sullivan tells us that the Rangers were unable to recover from a four run third, although it would be just as fair to say that Ranger pitching was unable to recover from yet another putrescent performance by the Ranger offense.
The only good news in Sullivan's notes column is that Arencibia is going somewhere else, who cares where, he is just not here and that's grand.
Tim Cowlishaw takes a look at Prince Fielder's horrible no good very bad 2014 and his trick back, and concludes that Jon Daniels has apparently angered a spellcasting chiropractor.
Prince Fielder emerged from the dugout, saw his shadow, and fled for Baskin Robbins, heralding six more weeks of injuries.
Fielder also doesn't care about the Detroit series, he just wants those thieving leprechauns to return his ability to play baseball.
Finally, something we can all agree on, it's all Arencibia's fault.
Leonys Martin does not expect his stiff neck to be a long term problem, which makes me think that maybe he hasn't been paying much attention lately.
The Robbie Ross as a starter experiment appears to be over, which means we can expect his arm to be bitten off by alligators on his way to the mound midgame instead of during pregame warmups.
In news surprisingly unrelated to Ranger eschatology, Tom Schieffer has been selected for the Ranger Hall of Fame.
Evan Grant says that Colby Lewis failed to deliver a quality start, though it's worth noting that the offense was terrible, too, so this is one of those "if we had ham, we could have ham and eggs, if we also had eggs" sorts of deals.
Grant looks at today's matchup, where if Nick Tepesch can give us a quality start maybe we can lose a low scoring game instead of a ridiculous scoring one.
Richard Durrett asks if the recent team meeting means anything, to which the answer is "probably not, unless it involved sorcery."
Julio Franco, who looks now like Otis Nixon did as a 30 year old, will play for the Fort Worth Cats maddeningly free of back injuries, dog related mishaps, and UCL problems.
Prince Fielder's problem is apparently arm weakness, which leads me to believe that there is probably a vampire loose in the clubhouse.
The team made changes at catcher and starting pitching yesterday, probably in the hopes that we can improve to replacement level production from those positions.
This little pimp in the pink glasses has so much more game than you.
And finally, my writing hero P.J. O'Rourke offers an unsolicited commencement speech to Rutgers graduates.