So, we have learned a few things this season, the most important of which is that the five stages of grief begin with denial and ends with spinal surgery.
At least something positive has happened this season, reflects Anthony Andro in regards to Adrian Beltre's 2,500th hit.
Gil Lebreton has come up with a narrative framing device for his column about the underachieving 2014 Rangers, and proceeds to hold on to it like grim death.
Drew Davison has a notes column about Nick Martinez being a pleasant surprise, like when your car is stolen but you realize that it was your girlfriend's Florence and the Machine CD in the stereo instead of that Blues Traveler does Sinatra import you got from that place in the hospital district.
Ron Washington thinks that Adrian Beltre is a future Hall of Famer, and with that statement has checked off "puff up trade values" on his Lost Season Bingo card.
T.R. Sullivan has a game recap, but they lost and you know what those look like.
Sullivan's notes column tells us that Engel Beltre will be starting a rehab statement and that LuJack and others were promoted to AAA.
Ian Kinsler continues to troll at at least a solid 4-5 wins above replacement level Pierzynski.
Gerry Fraley has a postgame story that shrugs and say, "hey, Joe Saunders ladies and gentlemen."
Nick Martinez will take the bump against Rick Porcello, but don't bother tuning in our next scheduled win won't occur until after the All Star Break.
Beltre labels his Hall of Fame chances as "no big whoop."
Colby Lewis has still not made a quality start this season.
Calvin Watkins has a rapid reaction to the game, and I for one would never have believed you could get that many column inches out of shouted rage cursing.
Prince Fielder came by the ballpark Wednesday, mostly to hold his hand up to the glass, put a few bucks in our commisary, and send us some positive vibes during visiting hours.
Ron Washington observed that Ian Kinsler would have been thrown at in the old days, but that now they'll probably just leave "makes perplexing errors, horrible body language, hurt our feelings when he came back to town - 2 stars would not sign again" on his Yelp page.
Finally, in the "I would have guessed Australia" files, fifty years ago a single newt in a camp's water killed three hikers.