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Oh, hey, lookie there! Geovany Soto came off the disabled list... unfortunately, he saw his shadow, which means 6 more weeks of spiritual winter.
Yu Darvish is more interesting in Japanese, as evidenced by this translation of Darvish's Q&A with the Japanese media at the All Star game. Granted, it's no juicy "I probably shouldn't be telling you this about what Charles Haley does in the locker room" gossip, but it's substantive and more than we get from him in the English language press.
This video of Leonys Martin's home-run robbing catch in the second is sadly devoid of the rich vein of douchebaggery that was plumbed in 2010's playoffs.
T.R. Sullivan's notebook discusses Geovany Soto fleeing the disabled list to escape the soldier in white and then fleeing right back to the disabled list to dodge the flak-blackened skies of the 2014 season, and Adrian Beltre being recognized for his grit despite not being an unathletic white person.
Alex Rios is bothered by rumors he may be traded, because who wouldn't want to play for a non-competing team that has apparently angered the gods, thereby drawing divine attention to the fact that he has somehow remained uncatastrophically injured?
Geovany Soto says that when your body starts talking to you that you have to listen, and apparently his body is telling him that 2014 is an excellent year to finally finish Skyrim.
Evan's notes column discusses Beltre's Hustle and Grit award and Jake Smolinski learning the hard way what happens to anyone who dares to play passably on the 2014 Rangers.
Don't look to Luke Jackson to buoy your spirits, he's getting lit up.
Evan recapped last night's game if you're into self-punishment.
Calvin Watkins observes that Shin-Soo Choo has not had an ideal season.
Watkins notes column tells us that Elvis Andrus blames himself for getting thrown out Monday, and I blame him for breaking AJM's heart.
He also reacts rapidly to last night's loss, throwing his Smith-Corona against the wall and muttering that he's going to go cover the Detroit Lions.
Finally, here's some David Lynch. Want some context for that clip? Tough luck, so did the Mulholland Drive script.