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Judging from what happened when Joakim Soria vowed to stick it out with the Rangers, it's probably time for you to compost your Alex Rios shirsey.
What would a Derek Jeter send-off be without another terrible defensive shortstop?
Colby Lewis finally turned in a decent performance, beating the Yankees in what will likely be but a brief oasis in a winless desert.
If you have been missing Derek Holland, T.R. Sullivan has a video of him looking dopey with Emily Jones and discussion of his latest rehab assignment in his notes column. Also, right before the trade deadline Alex Rios exits a game after being struck in the quad, which will probably turn gangrenous so keep an eye out for that.
T.R. Sullivan also talks about Derek Jeter's Arlington swan song, noting that George Bush participated but notable ballpark event crashers Will Clark and Rusty Greer did not.
Sounds like a certain center fielder is about to be forcibly deported from the Circle of Trust.
Today may be the end of the storied Alex Rios years in Texas.
Evan Grant says that Holland's command was erratic in his first rehab start but that his knee feels fine.
Is Elvis Andrus the heir apparent to Derek Jeter?
Calvin Watkins' notes post would like to rub some salt in our wounds, noting our record for the month of July and Leonys Martin's terrible play of late, and also that Soto will start a rehab assignment on Friday hoping to stick on the active roster this time for a full week.
Elvis Andrus needs to pick a different hero.
Watkins reacted rapidly to the game, celebrating Colby Lewis's will to win.
And finally, speaking of the 2014 Rangers season being a massacre, don't ever die in battle against Denmark because apparently they'll defile your corpse.