Last night, the offense performed about as well as an offense with Mike Carp batting third and Jim Adduci batting fifth could be reasonably expected to perform. And what you can expect in that situation is 1 for 10 with men in scoring position and stranding 12 baserunners.
In T.R. Sullivan's notebook, we learn that Yu probably won't be returning next Tuesday and that the Rangers outfielders dumped water on their head because that's apparently how we raise money for charity now.
Evan Grant speculates that Daniels'allowing Welke to go to San Diego with Preller signifies that Daniels is changing his ways.
Neftali Feliz makes baby Jesus cry.
Derek Holland pitched into the sixth in his rehab outing last night.
Remember how we thought Yu Darvish going on the DL was just a minor thing and that he'd be back after the minimum two weeks? It was so cute that we thought that.
Apparently, Alex Rios' being scratched from last night's game didn't have anything to do with the Ice Bucket Challenge, thank God, but it's 2014 so expect him to come down with pneumonia within the next 3 or 4 days.
Ron Washington may order Nick Martinez to avoid any full swings during NL rules games because "NL rules are just so stupid."
Calvin Watkins says that Yu Darvish needs to show that he can continue to play even when hurting, and I say Calvin Watkins needs to show that he can continue to write while I repeatedly hit him in the head with Yu Darvish's fangraphs page.
Finally, they just found a couple of Mayan cities in the Mexican jungle because wandering around in the jungle sucks and there's probably a bunch of stuff lying around in there.