I know it's been a while so I wanted to remind you: over 7 runs means half-priced pizza.
T.R. Sullivan has a recap, noting that by scoring 12 runs yesterday the Rangers have depleted their mana and will now get shut out for the rest of the season.
Sullivan also says that Alex Rios' sore thumb and sprained ankle are why he has been terrible, although really the reason is the vengeful ghost of Ian Kinsler.
Evan Grant says there's one reason why Colby Lewis shouldn't return in 2015: his recent endorsement of the Oxford comma.
Adam Rosales has fewer controversial views on punctuation, grammar and usage so he appears to be playing his way on to the 2015 roster.
Maybe Derek Holland will pitch next week. Although he's the one that started all this injury madness, so it's possible that only by offering him up as human sacrifice will it all end. Sort of like how in The Lost Boys you have to kill the head vampire.
And, finally, Jeff Spicoli will apparently never get Alzheimer's.