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The 2014 Rangers can't even manage to screw up properly. You had one job, 8th string Ranger scrubs, ONE JOB...

Sarah Glenn

The 2014 Rangers can't even manage to screw up properly.  You had one job, 8th string Ranger scrubs, ONE JOB...

Anthony Andro says that the Rangers are hoping to fill the vacant manager spot in October, with candidates expected to come prepared with their best folksy malapropisms.

Nick Martinez started his 23rd game of the season last night, earning praise for his dogged ability to consistently show up every fifth day to get his teeth kicked in.

Dave Sessions says that Daniels wants a new manager in place before free agency gets into full swing so that Randy Galloway has plenty of time to incorporate him into the increasingly paranoid and delusional Game of Thrones script he endlessly writes about the front office.

Sessions also says that Jurickson Profar has, in the last week, consulted with three orthopedists and the ELI5 subreddit seeking an answer to what plagues his shoulder and the only reasonable answer is a terminal case of Joaquin Ariasism.

Sessions notebook includes Lisalverto Bonilla brimming with confidence in his final start of the season because it's just Scott Feldman and Darvish and Fielder's recoveries progressing as planned.   Darvish is at the "going home after the season" stage of his recovery and Fielder is at the "eating prescription cupcakes while staring anxiously at Jake Smolinski" portion of his rehab.

Mike Young has bowed out as a candidate for manager after everyone involved acknowledged that his highest and best use would be as a subject of comical GIFs to remind us of better times.

Beware MLB... there's a new sheriff in town, and he's bringing his .480 OPS with him.

Evan Grant says that the only hope for Jurickson Profar is for Rougned Odor and Luis Sardinas to travel through the depths of Mordor and toss Elvis Andrus into the flames of Oakland Coliseum.

Evan also says that Nick Martinez owes his first home win of his career to Greg Maddux, who told him that all he needed to be successful is impeccable control, devastating late break on his sinker and a singular level of natural talent and stuff.  Martinez took that advice, combined it with an opponent almost as bad as the Rangers playing meaningless September ball and two tablespoons of gumption and turned it into a big W.

Guilder Rodriguez is living a treacly Disney movie script.

Calvin Watkins reports that the Rangers watched Cuban defector Yosmani Tomas work out in the Dominican on Tuesday, because if there's one thing the Rangers need more of it's light tower poewr with contact issues.

And, finally, I'm working on a book project that deals with poor people's problems, of a sort, and wanted to share this from Orwell's The Road to Wigan Pier:

I doubt, however, whether the unemployed would ultimately benefit if
they learned to spend their money more economically. For it is only the
fact that they are _not_ economical that keeps their allowances so high.
An English-man on the P.A.C. gets fifteen shillings a week because
fifteen shillings is the smallest sum on which he can conceivably keep
alive. If he were, say, an Indian or Japanese coolie, who can live on
rice and onions, he wouldn't get fifteen shillings a week--he would be
lucky if he got fifteen shillings a month. Our unemployment allowances,
miser-able though they are, are framed to suit a population with very
high standards and not much notion of economy. If the unemployed learned
to be better managers they would be visibly better off, and I fancy it
would not be long before the dole was docked correspondingly.