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Shawn Tolleson is reasonably sure he's still the closer because when was the last time a pitcher came back to the U.S. after toiling away in Japan and established himself as a serviceable player?

The DMN's podcast invited Elvis Andrus in for a rousing remake of the old SNL skit "What Were You Thinking?"

Well, that thumbnail they picked for the Ranger players' visit to the children's hospital is a little... sinister or something.

Dave Sessions' notes column includes James Jones being optimistic about 2016 and Yu Darvish being on track with his rehab.

Those rumors of a Rangers ballpark in Dallas must have shook up the Arlington City Council, because they've approved plans for an entertainment district near TBiA that includes a Bennigan's and an I Can't Believe it's Not Yogurt.

The plans stay true to Arlington's legacy of "seizing the opportunity to make big dreams come true," according to former mayor Richard Greene, and not Arlington's legacy of "not having public transportation so poor minorities have to stay in their own neighborhoods," according to my militant former coworker Nate X.

Like pizza, beer, and sex, even when relievers are bad they're still pretty good.