Kevin Sherrington tells us that Jeff Banister doesn't just like Joe Maddon, he like likes Joe Maddon. Judging by how Spring Training has started, that means Jeff Banister's plot arc will begin with a harmless purchase of some black framed glasses and end with someone getting a spiked heel through their forehead.
You want platitudes? Evan Grant's got your hookup. His story is about Colby Lewis veteran presence-ing his way to a much better outing than his first.
Evan also thinks Yovani Gallardo should get the Opening Day start, in part because of scheduling and in part, and Evan's got a good point here, because unholy Baphomet will destroy everything you love and hold dear so you'd better start embracing some cynicism.
Elvis Andrus was on the radio talking about kidnappings in Venezuela.
Jon Daniels was also on the radio where he was asked if Darvish's injury was an act of God, to which he muttered darkly "maybe, but we'll settle that account" because the idea of God and Jon Daniels fist fighting amuses me.
A.J. Cassevell notes that Prince Fielder's swing is locked in right now which will add some absolutely delicious dramatic tension when he's devoured by locusts next week.
He also tells us that the Rangers are still in the "it's just a little airborne, it's still good" stage of the grieving process as they haven't ruled out seeking a third opinion on Yu Darvish's elbow.
Shawn Tolleson gets to and from the ballpark in Arizona on a gas powered bicycle.
And, finally, here's a member of the Toronto Blue Jays organization that lives in a van. He reminds me of Dan Cortes' character on Seinfeld.