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0-1 - Rangers Win on Opening Day by not getting no-hit, Lose 8-0

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The Rangers were not gently ushered into a world masochism by Nifty Shades of Sonny Gray and were promptly punished anyhow

My eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light that split the night
My eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light that split the night
Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Well, that wasn't good. But you know what? That Ryan Rua single in the 8th was nearly as satisfying as a boring ol' baseball victory would have felt. Right? I mean, the Rangers were demolished tonight and I still fist-pumped a run-of-the-mill single in a lost cause. This is how you manage to enjoy a baseball season that promises hours and hours and days and days and months and months of potentially horrible things.

Welcome to the Texas Rangers, Jeff Banister. They did not quit, after all.

Player of the Game: Anthony Bass is your official 2015 Texas Rangers MVP.