Adrian Beltre's birthday was yesterday, and as a gift he received what will probably be one of the Ranger wins in 2015.
Adrian Beltre said that Elvis Andrus should give him a car for his birthday for making his life miserable, leaving unsaid whether Elvis is doing so with onfield hijinks or by following the aging curve of a player five years older.
Mike Maddux says that Ranger pitchers need to execute and focus or he's going to turn Keith Meister loose in the clubhouse with whatever diagnostic axe he's decided to grind in 2015... probably that obscure heel thing that Gallo had, which sounds made up and is completely in keeping with what we've come to expect from years past.
Joey Gallo is excited to get back to playing and is grateful the random obscure diagnosis for 2015 is one that comes with a reasonably quick recovery time.
He also said, of his injury, "I couldn't even walk."
You know what's worth celebrating? Our AA manager's tendency towards being a volatile hothead.
Want some good news? Of course you don't! Evan Grant has you covered with three things to note from Monday's 8-0 drubbing.
Evan doesn't want you to be too pessimistic, though, because then you'll follow a team with brighter prospects... like whoever the Harlem Globetrotters are playing.
We also have some minor league notes including Nick Tepesch's (sigh) elbow inflammation.
Elvis tweeted birthday apologies to Adrian Beltre, and golly if it doesn't convince me to forgive him for three straight seasons of decline.
And the 2015 Rangers are basically Little Lamplight from Fallout 3.
And, finally, those among you that are looking for a job might be interested in this... although the Venn diagram of the job qualifications probably does not share much overlap with the LSB readership.