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How you, T.R. Sullivan, and Derek Holland can stop the wave... all this and more on LSB Pinterest.

Lance Iversen-USA TODAY Sports

Well, there's something comforting about probably being terrible again.  I mean, ask Adam to tell the story about Luis Alicea and the go ahead run at Fado's in Austin.  Those were good times, man.  A world series contender, like a shiny new car, is just waiting for its first disfiguring brush with reality.  There's so much less anxiety in driving a beater.

Evan Grant's flips open his trusty reporter notebook (it's a Twilight Trapper Keeper, go Team Jacob!) to jot down some notes on Colby Lewis and Keone Kela.

Evan also talks about that last refuge of noncontenders and scoundrels, the draft.... noting that the Rangers have $9 million to spend on their first ten picks and $4.6 million to spend on their international signings.

Geno Petralli will be joining the Rangers' organization as a AAA coach, speaking of the good ol' days when the Rangers were terrible.  When I was giving myself a future case of PTSD by working in rent-to-own, I had a customer that mentioned he worked for a construction crew run by Geno Petralli.  I asked him, "you mean the Ranger catcher?"  And he said something along the lines of "that's what he says but I'd never heard of him."

Jeff Banister says that his regulars are going to get rest this season, probably while they're recovering after Keith Meister removes random bones from their bodies.

Gerry Fraley tells us that MLB's national TV partners aren't super excited to broadcast Ranger games right now.

Recognizing the last thing a disabled list with a glitchy trigger finger needs is to have ice cream with an obscure contaminant waved at it, the Rangers will not be selling Blue Bell ice cream during their opening homestand.

Derek Holland is all rarin' to go for the Rangers' home opener.

Eric Gilmore has his Rapid Reactions to last night's game, which are about 300 more words than "wow, that was awful" and functionally identical.

T.R. Sullivan's "Holland is excited about the home opener" story includes a quote from Holland about how much he hates The Wave.  I saw an idea on Pinterest that's perfect for this... print out the story, wrap it around a brick, and when The Wave starts just indiscriminately bludgeon fellow fans.  It also included a novel defense for your attorney to try out, so I'm sure there's no real downside.

MLB.com's shoulders are shaking with silent laughter at Adam's top Rangers of all time list (what, you've never heard of it?  When did you start reading LSB, noob, 2007?  lol Richard Hidalgo was the r0x0rz), as they ask fans to vote for their top four players in franchise history.

Carlos Corporan and Keone Kela impressed Jeff Banister with their in-game decision making night before last.

Sigh.

And finally, fans of P.J. O'Rourke's All the Trouble in the World already know this, but ayahuasca is being investigated as a possible treatment for depression.