Jon Daniels on returning from Round Rock with reinforcement relievers: "I'm going to need a bigger car."
Leonys Martin is likely to be out of the lineup for at least several days because that's what's done before announcing a catastrophic injury.
Jeff Banister says that homers off of relievers on the first batter faced is not an issue of preparation but of execution, which is a statement about as prescriptive as a Buddhist koan.
Matt Harrison has begun pitching in extended spring training and the countdown to Mitch Moreland's next DL stint has begun.
The Ranges are starting to play like a not-objectively-execrable team, but, like flying in the Hitchhiker's Guide universe, it's best not to take notice of it directly or it will all end in tears.
Ross Detwiler is hoping to notch his first win against the Royals today, and good luck with all that.
The Rangers have called up lefty Sam Freeman and designated Stolmy Pimentel for assignment.
Well, AJM will like this, it's a Prince Fielder / Infinite Jest reference.
Shin-Soo Choo is lighting the world on fire and somewhere someone is missing a cursed monkey's paw.
And, finally, when it comes to bathroom graffiti women are caring nurturers and men are savage animals who pee all over the floor.