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Thursday Morning Links

Lance Iversen-USA TODAY Sports

Mitch Moreland's bat is +3 vs. sourdough bread.  All successful melee attacks result in 3d4 damage to his hamstrings, though.

Seattle's offense is so bad.  How bad is it?  Opposing pitchers leave cab fare on the night stand.  Ba-dum-dum-tiss.

Chi Chi Gonzalez has a chance to have 3 scoreless starts to launch his MLB career.  You can bet that the training staff is praying to the Lord of Light and probably doing something horrific to an innocent child as a preventative measure.

Martin Perez is pitching again.  He also says that he "feels different" after Tommy John surgery.

Evan Grant says that the front office has learned their lesson about undersized lefties.

The Ranger 11th round pick was dedicated to area scout Gary McGraw, who's caring for his ailing wife.

Shin-Soo Choo thinks Jeff Banister should take his stupid questions and shove them up his pooper.

Rick Eymer previews today's game, focusing on the excitement of Ross Detwiler's building on his early successes in returning from injury.

Rangers' 12 rounder LeDarious Clark won't be making inspirational speeches during purely pro-forma spring training performances because his college football stardom consisted of being named "Special Teams Player of the Week."

Martin Perez's first rehab start went well.

If you'd like a list of all of the Ranger draft picks, here you go.

That nonsense in the 8th and 9th innings last night broke poor Yovani Gallardo's heart.

He struck out 10 but, as can be seen above, don't ask Shin-Soo Choo about any mistakes that could have cost them the game because he'll flip smooth the fudge out.

And finally, there's an inn in Japan that has been continuously operated by a single family since the century the poem Beowulf was composed.