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Thursday Morning Links

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I'll take "Things That Shouldn't Surprise You" for $100, Alex.

Matt Harrison says it feels good to be a gangsta, because a gangsta-ass pitcher plays his cards right.

Evan Grant has a game report.  Joey Gallo went yard!  That is all.

I'll take "Things that Shouldn't Surprise You" for $200, Alex.

And, lo, Joey Gallo rose to the Majors and the wrath of God was lifted... Chirinos' hand doesn't appear to be grievously injured and he's not going on the 60 day DL with gangrene or anything.

One of last season's goldshirts is back in the majors.

Gerry Fraley talks about Joey Gallo and possible Super 2 status.

Joey Gallo has got ex-girlfriends.  Joey Gallo is hitting massive dongs in the majors.  Joey Gallo has gotten some callsfrom ex-girlfriends.

You like annoying autoplaying video?  Well, you'll love Randy Jennings' story about Chris Sale dominating the Rangers.

Yeah, Josh Hamilton is out for four weeks but Arte Moreno is paying like five gazillion dollars per booby-trapped hamstring.

Randy Jennings reacts rapidly to last night's loss.

Jennings also tells you ten things you need to know about Joey Gallo, including the fact that rainbows do not come from light refracting through moisture but from Gallo's bat.

Matt Harrison has started his rehab assignment.

Nick Martinez looked mortal last night, but don't worry there's always Ross Detwiler.

Massive dongs.

Joey Gallo became the first Ranger to homer in his first two games.