Did you know Prince Fielder can play first base? And that he's almost as good as Zombie Blalock but a much better hitter?
Delino DeShields' parents: "Boy, you better not get no Porsche."
Matt Harrison may not have had a pretty line last night, but he had an unpretty line with a fused spine so why don't you talk some noise when you stop crying about your hangnail, you big wuss?
There are still questions about what the rotation will look like after the All Star Break, what with Matt Harrison having a new spine made out of question marks.
If you're a fan of bullet-pointed game recaps, here you go!
Prince Fielder and the Rangers continue to defy expectations... the Rangers by not dropping title characters like an AMC drama and Prince Fielder by switching from prescription ice cream to prescription cheesecake.
And, finally, there was a study back in the 70's that demonstrated that psychiatry can distinguish the insane from the sane in psychiatric hospitals.