Gerry Fraley takes a look at how hard it is for a pitcher to throw back to back no hitters.
The Rangers don't want you to think that they slashed upper level ticket prices for today's game because it's a 1:05 start and it's going to be hotter than Satan's butthole. Of course not. They did it because Derek Holland is returning triumphantly to the mound.
Speaking of lefthanders that are quite chummy with the DL, Josh Hamilton is hoping to return to the lineup for a game or two on Thursday.
The Rangers have beefed up the outfield by trading for Will Venable, who will be tasked with Weekend-at-Bernie's-ing Josh Hamilton around the outfield. The move isn't expected to add wins but does help us continue to irritate Arte Moreno.
Derek Holland was the subject of some funny signs that Elvis Andrus put up around the clubhouse, but apparently we aren't going to find out what they said, probably because it was something filthy.
Jordan Spieth and Zach Johnson were being all colorful and bantering on Twitter about throwing out ceremonial first pitches but they are golfers and I don't care.
Jean-Jacques Taylor is very disappointed in you, Cole Hamels.
Jon Daniels talked up Will Venable as it becomes increasingly clear that Lieutenant Dan Hamilton ain't got no legs.
Chi Chi had a decent outing outside of a rocky first inning and that's all I have to say about that.
Last night's loss ended a five game streak.
Jordan Spieth took the mound to throw out the ceremonial first pitch, and then announced after the game that due to a "very convincing" presentation by Keith Meister will undergo thoracic outlet surgery and whatever Meister's current obsession is with removing foot bones.
Josh Hamilton needs a lower body transplant.
The MLB.com top 30 Ranger prospects list gets an update.
And finally, a 19th century physician named Robert Kedzie wrote a book about how a wallpaper coloring agent would kill you and then bound samples of the wallpaper into the book because knowing that it will kill you really heightens your appreciation of these lovely wallpaper swatches. Also because he's a crazy person with an absolutely fanatical commitment to irony, I'm guessing.