According to the DMN, the five most important players to advance the Rangers past the ALDS are the fingers Rougned Odor's right hand, also known as Glamdring.
Rougned asks: "What do you tell Jose Bautista when he's got two black eyes?"
Rougned then says: "Jose Bautista's mama is so fat that the Blue Jays went 30-27 over the final two months of the season."
Rougned says: "Jose Bautista sucks so hard that Adrian Beltre contracted the Motaba virus from that movie Outbreak and he still says his health is 'good enough' to beat the Blue Jays."
The Rangers are not letting bad blood get in the way of an absolute certainty that the Blue Jays suck.
Carlos Beltran says that a World Series win is what drives him.
Next on How It's Made: the Rangers postseason roster.
So this Ian Desmond experiment ended up working out okay.
And what is this? Another redemption story in a playoff year? Could this be the storybook ending we were waiting for? Was Josh Hamilton the false prophet?