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Some links all up in your cheese whiz

Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

David Schoenfield likes him some  Rougned Odor but says, in paraphrase of Winston Wolf, "let's not start picking each other's ticks just yet, gentlemen" to a suggestion that he's got the skill set for Cooperstown.

Adrian Beltre is looking for a three year extension.

Tim Cowlishaw says Yu Darvish and Cole Hamels are the best one-two punch in baseball.

Jake Diekman made a Kim Kardashian Twitter joke about his dog.  His dog appears to be a doodle of some sort, which offends me.

Gerry Fraley has some notes from yesterday's game.

Player rep Derek Holland has prepared his snake in a can, squirting lapel flower and giant novelty negotiating sunglasses in a crucial year in which the players will have to hammer out a new collective bargaining agreement.

You know how one of the suggestions for Steve Carrell in The 40 Year Old Virgin was to "go tear through about 20 hoodrats" before he gets with a woman he actually wants?  Well, that's what Cole Hamels likes about facing minor league hitters.

The Frisco Roughriders have some really ugly shirts they're giving away this season.  You know who doesn't make ugly shirts?  Me.  Bam.  Yep, that's a Shepard Fairey parody.  Bam.  That's a World War I propaganda poster.  Oh, hey, Uncle Sam, do you want in on this?  Bam.  You want clean, classic designs, Frisco?  I'll tell you a secret... I'll work for table scraps and cigarette butts.

If rage and a desire for vengeance can spur a monster season for Ian Desmond, well bully for us.

Prince Fielder has rejoined the team after flying to DFW for a sleep study.

A social media platform designed to facilitate sharing pictures of your wiener is now being used for a MLB marketing campaign.

T.R. Sullivan's notes include the standard "feeling great, working on mechanics, getting ready" boilerplate from Martin Perez and Cole Hamels after their B game starts and some injury updates.

If Derek Holland can't negotiate a flight of stairs with a dog on it how can you entrust him with negotiating the agreement that will govern your terms of employment for the next however many years?

Ike Davis has been scratched due to a knee sprain.

Joey Gallo and A.J. Griffin swipe right on Brocail and Iapoce.

Nick Martinez and Chi Chi Gonzalez are besties.