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22-17 - Rangers lose, wallop no one about the face

While they were busy playing an unremarkable baseball game, couldn't they have at least slugged Billy Burns in the face a time or two?

John Hefti-USA TODAY Sports

I can feel it already. The A's are going to be that otherwise crappy AL West team that the Rangers are going to be unable to beat all summer for no good reason and it will drive us crazy.

Everything that yesterday's game was in terms of excitement, tonight's game was the opposite. In fact, I dare you to recall a single thing that happened in tonight's game. You can't. I can't and I watched the whole thing. Good night.

Player of the Game: Luke Jackson pitched, I think. It was either Luke Jackson or a cocker spaniel on the mound. He probably did okay. I can't prove it because this game was a black hole that sucked all interest and delight from my eyes, soul, and heart. Rougie punching Jose Bautista in the face has ruined me in terms of baseball entertainment expectations forever.

Up Next: More late night baseball from Oakland as Cole Hamels will take the mound against LHP Eric Surkamp of the A's. First pitch is scheduled for 9:05 pm CT.