Instead of a game recap, here's Hanser Alberto with his best friend Bubbalicious Joe:
"Remember when we first met, Joe? You, me, Skydome. I know it's called Rogers Centre now, Joe. It'll always be Skydome to me."
"You're voting for Trump?! AAAY Joe! You almost had me going!"
"OH LOOK AT ME I'M ADRIAN BELTRE DON'T TOUCH MY HEAD HAHA-Oh, shit! He's looking this way. Get down, Joe!"
P.S. The Rangers didn't win.
Player of the Game: Colby Lewis gutted out seven innings of work allowing just three runs because he is a modern miracle of science.
Up Next: The Rangers and Blue Jays conclude this series as Texas tries to salvage a split with Derek Holland on the mound against J.A. Happ. First pitch is once again scheduled for 6:07 pm CT.