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10-13 - Existence of Mike Trout haunts Rangers in loss

Just knowing Mike Trout is coming is enough to make the Rangers lose

Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

Because Mike Trout exists, the Angels scored five of their six runs. Mike Trout was responsible for two of them himself with a bullet of a homer to right-center. That made the game 3-1. The Rangers tied the game at 3 apiece but because Mike Trout is a human being in our reality, it was tied only in appearance.

Because Mike Trout exists, and the idea of him shatters minds, Kole Calhoun reached ahead of him in the top of the eighth. Because Mike Trout exists and hits bullets to right-center, Mike Trout was walked, not intentionally but totally intentionally.

Because Mike Trout exists, and frightens people who throw pitches, Albert Pujols, the greatest right-handed hitter of a generation, was allowed to hit with two on in a tied game. He untied it, to say the least, with a long home run, ending it because Mike Trout started it simply by existing.

Player of the Game: Nick Martinez made another start for Gout Griffin and tossed what was ultimately one of his most impressive outings of his big league career. Martinez collected a career high seven strikeouts and walked no one.

The blemishes on Martinez's ledger tonight came in the form of a solo home run by Yunel Escobar on the first pitch of the game and a two-run shot off the bat of God's most perfect baseball specimen Mike Trout.

Though Trout got him on the dinger, Martinez had struck out Trout on a 95 MPH fastball a few innings prior and retired ten consecutive Angels at one point.

Up Next: It's Yu's day once again as Darvish makes the start for Texas against RHP Jesse Chavez of Anaheim. The nationally televised game on FS1 has a scheduled first pitch of 6:15 pm CT.