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Welcome to Opening Day. Below is a look at every player on the Opening Day roster and the ones I suspect will see action in 2017 along with my thoughts, predictions, and what have you.
Starting pitchers
Yu Darvish: Will win the first Cy Young Award for a Texas Rangers pitcher in franchise history and it'll be neat.
Cole Hamels: With a little bit of rest here and there throughout the grind, Hamels is ready for October this time.
Martin Perez: Marty makes the jump. Not the big jump to No. 2 starter, but the jump to effective, consistent No. 3/4 starter that he settles into for the rest of his 20 year career.
A.J. Griffin: Your new Colby Lewis. He'll give up 30 home runs but if he's learned anything from Colby, he'll make sure they're all solo dongs.
Andrew Cashner: Have you ever seen an adult and you can just tell exactly what they looked like when they were a kid? Cashner is like that. He was definitely the kid that was always sticky for some reason, too.
Tyson Ross: The weirdest, most awkward stride in baseball but man, that slider is tasty. Here's to him getting 20 starts.
Yohander Mendez: As a left-handed changeup artist, he has my heart. But the ups and downs to begin his big league career will be 'Teen-esque to start.
Dillon Gee: As in Gee, I hope we don't have to see him pitch very much. Granted, it could be worse. Like, Kyle Lohse worse.
Nick Martinez: I root for Nick Martinez and I hope he, as an org soldier, has his 2017 moment like he had his 2016 moment.
Relief pitchers
Sam Dyson: Matt Bush doesn't end up usurping Dyson as closer because Dyson has a pretty good year and you have to fail to lose that job.
Matt Bush: The most important member of the bullpen pitches the most important innings which is better than getting locked into a 9th inning role.
Jeremy Jeffress: Kind of a forgotten man who can help make us feel a little better about how much the Rangers gave up in the Lucroy trade.
Alex Claudio: His changeup has a changeup.
Dario Alvarez: I wonder what Lucas Harrell is up to.
Mike Hauschild: I'd take a season somewhere between Mason Tobin and Delino DeShields.
Tony Barnette: Another skin on JD and scout's wall that no one really talks about.
Jose Leclerc: Should maybe buy Keone Kela's Chipotle this week for giving him a big league roster paycheck.
Tanner Scheppers: That's 2014 Opening Day starter Tanner Scheppers to you, pal.
Connor Sadzeck: I figure he'll eventually make his MLB debut in the 'pen as a multiple innings guy. He'll throw 100 and it will be fun.
Keone Kela: Come back mad, Psycho Kela.
Tyler Wagner: The guy who will eventually ruin your Sporcle score.
Catchers
Jonathan Lucroy: The second best catcher in baseball, Lucroy, in his first full and perhaps final season in Texas, needs another shot at October with Darvish and Hamels.
Robinson Chirinos: Top five backup catcher in baseball. I maintain that Robbie is fringe All-Star caliber at the position when truly healthy.
Brett Nicholas: I liked what I saw from him in his brief stint last season and he'll probably be around for the next decade on the I-35 shuttle whenever the Rangers need a backstop.
Infielders
Adrian Beltre: Even after missing the first week, Beltre continues his run at becoming the best player to ever wear the Texas Rangers uniform. 3,000 will be special. Now, get him a dang ring you jerks.
Mike Napoli: Nap-O-Li was never truly gone, if you believed in your heart.
Rougned Odor: Never change.
Elvis Andrus: What if Elvis hits 20 bombs?
Joey Gallo: What if Joey hits 60 bombs?
Jurickson Profar: Is this the year he finally becomes Zobrist?
Hanser Alberto: Handsome Hanser's glove will always bring him back.
Ronald Guzman: Condor gets a cup of coffee later on and his stretch at first base will make your groin sore by proxy.
Outfielders:
Delino DeShields: I'm in. Will draw walks at a 15% clip and steal 40 bases.
Ryan Rua: If Rua wants to go ahead and shed the label of sneaky underrated player and become an everyday regular with 25 dinger power, he has a great opportunity to do so this year.
Carlos Gomez: He's not All-Star back, but he proves his September away from Houston has made him a serviceable starting-caliber player once again.
Nomar Mazara: The Big Chill makes The Big Leap to young star player.
Shin-Soo Choo: I mean, pep talks are nice, but can Choo's wife just conjure up a protection spell for all his joints and muscles, please?
Drew Robinson: Banny's utility knife comes with high OBP, pop, versatile positioning, and platoon-ability.
As always, Go Rangers!