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Monday Morning Texas Rangers Update

Smell ya later, football season

Minnesota Twins v Toronto Blue Jays Photo by Tom Szczerbowski/Getty Images

Good morning. Congratulations to the Philadelphia Eagles for joining the Houston Astros and Shohei Ohtani’s salvaging of the Angels as further proof that we all hocked our sports soul for Dirk to get his ring in June 2011.

It was worth it but I’m pretty sure we’ve paid off the interest and can start paying down the principal, universe.

T.R. Sullivan writes that the Rangers finalized a deal to bring 480 year old Bartolo Colon to camp on a minor league deal.

Evan Grant doesn’t write that it was appropriate for the Rangers to sign Colon on Super Bowel Sunday but here’s his article about the signing anyway.

Jeff Wilson writes that bringing in Colon isn’t a bit done solely for us to enjoy GIFs of an old fat man trying to be an athlete as Colon has a legitimate shot to make the club out of camp with Martin Perez banged up and the general uncertainties with the rotation.

Or maybe Jon Daniels just thought it would be funny to sign Bartolo Colon for the chance he’ll stand next to Rougned Odor. Cut4 doesn’t explore that possibility among their various examples for why Colon is the Internet’s most beloved sports goofball/forgotten PED user.

Wilson continues his positional outlook series ahead of Spring Training with a look at catcher where the Rangers have Robinson Chirinos and several folks battling for the backup gig.

And, lastly, in case you missed it in between Dodge using MLK to sell trucks, T-Mobile using Nirvana to sell phones, and Justin Timberlake using Prince’s image to promote Bass Pro Shops, the Rangers ran a Super Bowl ad.

Have a nice day!