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39-49 - Rangers feast on AL Central, tackle Tigers 7-5

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The Rangers would like to move to the AL Central, please

MLB: Texas Rangers at Detroit Tigers Raj Mehta-USA TODAY Sports

We all agree that the Rangers are not good in 2018. That’s a fact that we have to live with every night as we watch our team stumble to defeat more often than not. However, think about this:

After tonight, the Rangers are 39-49. Their Thursday night opponents, the Detroit Tigers, are 38-51.

The Minnesota Twins are 35-48!

The Chicago White Sox are 30-56!!

The Kansas City Royals are 25-61!x-infinity

The Tigers are worse than the Rangers and find themselves in second place in their division. Even first place Cleveland is just 11 games over .500 at 48-37. For reference, the far-and-away-third-place-in-the-AL West Oakland A’s are 48-39.

The American League Central is just embarrassingly, historically bad this year.

If only Tom Hicks hadn’t sold out the franchise’s chance to move to the Central where it belongs because Bud Selig sold him on the stupid Lone Star Series. In that glorious timeline the Rangers would be, by my calculations, no worse than 80-8 right now.

Player of the Game: Joey Gallo hit a majestic 460 ft bomberooski that landed under the back of facade of upper porch in right field at Comerica Park. It was Gallo’s 69th dong.

Up Next: The Rangers and Tigers battle once again with Bartolo Colon looking to become the all-time leader in wins by a Latin-born pitcher against RHP Jordan Zimmermann for Detroit. First pitch from Comerica Park is scheduled for 6:10 pm CT.